We need you to understand something. Someone wrote this for you. Someone wrote this for you and only you. Everyone else who reads it, doesn’t get it. They may think they get it, but they don’t. This is the sign you’ve been looking for. You were meant to read these words.
It's awkward and I feel our connection blurring. It was different before; I didn't have a chance to think about you leaving. You just did, and I couldn't do anything about it. I was helpless. But now, I can feel you leaving. I know you're changing...or maybe, this is who you were all along. I am still helpless, but only because I can no longer help you.
And I watched as you disappeared, just another face fading into my past. And I watched as you turned away, and I knew that this would be the last time I saw you. You didn't particularly care; but then, neither did I.
We'll stay on this ride for as long as it goes; just you and I, side by side. I'll hold your hand for as long as I can, but when this journey ends, we'll have to leave this train behind. I trust that you'll keep these memories in your heart, as I will in mine; you will always be on my mind.
My train of thought is used to crashing into memories, especially in the dark. And there's always casualties. But this time it made it through, and it's never gone faster. This time it made it to the light.
We huddle in pairs, in twos and threes, safe in the knowledge we belong somewhere. We run alone, disappear in the midst of crowds, safe in the freedom of choosing.
You're the perfect angel, a miracle sent from the most beautiful part of heaven, you're the song I never knew that I've been humming under my breath all my life. You make something magical happen every day and you hold me when I'm falling apart and you're too damn perfect for words.
But it doesn't mean I haven't thought of leaving you. It doesn't mean I wouldn't rather die.
Somehow, I found myself with my head resting on your shoulder, your head resting on mine. You told me to close my eyes and relax, you would tell me when we'd reached our stop. But I really wouldn't have minded if you fell asleep as well.
I would close my eyes when I saw your letters in the mailbox. I would lock myself in my room when you rang the doorbell. I would cup my ears when you called me, waiting for the answering machine to pick it up.
I was always waiting for you to leave, and waiting for you to come back.
The last train just left. I wish I could've got onto it when I had the chance.
As you stand with your back to me, your face lifted to the wind, I can imagine how it caresses your face the same way that I want to. And I want to tell you something philosophical, beautiful. But in the end, I lose courage. I step back. I leave you to the wind.
this is the kind of moment that feels fast when its slow and slow when its fast when you lose track between dusk and dawn when you cant tell the difference between spinning and crashing when you only remember how one specific person cared for you and you try to clear up any confusion and end the guessing games there is always a conversation waiting to be started or ended there is always a lesson to be learned or a mistake to be repeated or a mix of the two. you were too blind not to see what we shared the same passion, the same humor, the same vices, the same fears, the same taboos, the same prescriptions, the same body issues, the same fantasy, the same knocks, the same breathing patterns
then you struck the match...
so for now, all we share is this ride and over the loudspeaker I ask "do you share the same empty stomach feeling i've got?"
I loved you so much once. I love you still. I love the memories I have of you, I love what you were once, I love what we were. I’m so glad it all happened. I’m so glad I know you and that you meant more than I thought anything could. That means so much.
I still love you. But not the way I used to, and even though you deny it I know you don’t love me the way you used to either. We’re moving on, and I don’t want to. But I will. We will. (strikeout)Together, like everything else.(end strikeout)
I know you're hurting, but I can't stop smiling. I know you're angry about that. It's just that I have such a strong feeling you're going to be better soon.
With the penny found earlier in the day, I carved a note in the empty seat next to mine. It says "make them yours forever" Maybe someone will lean from my mistake. Even if it's only one.
The memory of who I was Still loves the memory of who you were As much as it, as I, ever did. (you know that's more than anything right?) But that's all I can say.
I got on the subway, but I didn't really see anyone. All I wanted to see was you, getting on the subway, sitting next to me again, giving me another chance. People in New York don't really notice when someone cries on the subway. Good thing.
I am worried you will be gone before I forgive you.
ReplyDeleteThe next stop it's mine, please do not follow me, i have earned this
ReplyDeleteIt's awkward and I feel our connection blurring. It was different before; I didn't have a chance to think about you leaving. You just did, and I couldn't do anything about it. I was helpless. But now, I can feel you leaving. I know you're changing...or maybe, this is who you were all along. I am still helpless, but only because I can no longer help you.
ReplyDeleteforget the awkward silence.
ReplyDeletelet's all burst out in song and dance because honey, i know you want to.
And I watched as you disappeared, just another face fading into my past. And I watched as you turned away, and I knew that this would be the last time I saw you. You didn't particularly care; but then, neither did I.
ReplyDeleteLet's pack our bags and go somewhere only we know, somewhere unknown.
ReplyDeleteAll I can think of right now is your face, your sweet smile, and the love in your eyes. I love you.
ReplyDeleteThe perfect journey towards you, so I can just hold your hand where your fingers fit perfectly through mine.
ReplyDeleteThat moment - when the earth melted, when your eyes bled colour, when the lines ran away - that was when our hearts met
ReplyDeleteAnd even if, every single one of them leaves the last train, I will still be on your train.
ReplyDeleteBecause I believe in you.
We'll stay on this ride for as long as it goes; just you and I, side by side. I'll hold your hand for as long as I can, but when this journey ends, we'll have to leave this train behind. I trust that you'll keep these memories in your heart, as I will in mine; you will always be on my mind.
ReplyDeletePerhaps I had mistakenly pressed a reset button, that we now are strangers all of a sudden.
ReplyDeleteI'm waiting for a train that will never come.
ReplyDeleteOne foot off the platform.
One hand on my heart.
Knowing you'll never make it
in time to save me.
My train of thought is used to crashing into memories, especially in the dark. And there's always casualties. But this time it made it through, and it's never gone faster. This time it made it to the light.
ReplyDeleteThe train moves on, and the perpetual silence grows. It grows as the train gains speed. And then, we know.
ReplyDeleteGoing home. Home - the way my palm fits so neatly into yours, the light of a smile in the corners of our eyes, our mouths, our hearts.
ReplyDeleteI am yours, and you are mine.
We huddle in pairs, in twos and threes, safe in the knowledge we belong somewhere. We run alone, disappear in the midst of crowds, safe in the freedom of choosing.
ReplyDeleteYou will always belong.
I love you.
ReplyDeleteYou're the perfect angel, a miracle sent from the most beautiful part of heaven, you're the song I never knew that I've been humming under my breath all my life. You make something magical happen every day and you hold me when I'm falling apart and you're too damn perfect for words.
But it doesn't mean I haven't thought of leaving you. It doesn't mean I wouldn't rather die.
You just give me a reason to hang on.
Somehow, I found myself with my head resting on your shoulder, your head resting on mine. You told me to close my eyes and relax, you would tell me when we'd reached our stop. But I really wouldn't have minded if you fell asleep as well.
ReplyDeleteI would close my eyes when I saw your letters in the mailbox. I would lock myself in my room when you rang the doorbell. I would cup my ears when you called me, waiting for the answering machine to pick it up.
ReplyDeleteI was always waiting for you to leave, and waiting for you to come back.
The last train just left. I wish I could've got onto it when I had the chance.
in a sea of people: you pass by and my whole being noticed you. i pass by and you remain unmoved.
ReplyDelete-a.
The destination reads 'Light.' We're heading towards the light, honey.
ReplyDeleteHoney?
Oh. I forget. That's where you are.
Don't worry, baby. You won't be alone for much longer now.
I'm coming after you.
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ReplyDeleteOne million hearts are raining from an empty sea of shattered dreams,
ReplyDeletebut only one tiny word can transform a life
and make it one million minus one.
The locomotive power of this heart is fading. Nobody knows the mechanics of this heart better than you. So, please fix me.
ReplyDeleteI'm moving on (sorry you couldn't keep up).
ReplyDeleteAs you stand with your back to me, your face lifted to the wind, I can imagine how it caresses your face the same way that I want to. And I want to tell you something philosophical, beautiful. But in the end, I lose courage. I step back. I leave you to the wind.
ReplyDeleteJust one more train ride and it's done.
ReplyDeleteI hate you.
ReplyDeleteBut not nearly as much as I love you.
this is the kind of moment that feels fast when its slow and slow when its fast
ReplyDeletewhen you lose track between dusk and dawn
when you cant tell the difference between spinning and crashing
when you only remember how one specific person cared for you
and you try to clear up any confusion and end the guessing games
there is always a conversation waiting to be started or ended
there is always a lesson to be learned or a mistake to be repeated
or a mix of the two.
you were too blind not to see what we shared
the same passion, the same humor, the same vices, the same fears, the same taboos, the same prescriptions, the same body issues, the same fantasy, the same knocks, the same breathing patterns
then you struck the match...
so for now, all we share is this ride
and over the loudspeaker I ask
"do you share the same empty stomach feeling i've got?"
I wonder if you knew, that throughout the whole journey, I was right there beside you.
ReplyDeleteI loved you so much once. I love you still. I love the memories I have of you, I love what you were once, I love what we were. I’m so glad it all happened. I’m so glad I know you and that you meant more than I thought anything could. That means so much.
ReplyDeleteI still love you. But not the way I used to, and even though you deny it I know you don’t love me the way you used to either. We’re moving on, and I don’t want to. But I will. We will. (strikeout)Together, like everything else.(end strikeout)
It's funny, but admitting what I don't feel for you made me appreciate what I do feel.
ReplyDeleteWatching it all fall to pieces and tatters, I care about one thing and one thing only.
ReplyDeleteI will not break your heart.
Instead, I will lead it to the light, and then I will set it free.
I know you're hurting, but I can't stop smiling. I know you're angry about that. It's just that I have such a strong feeling you're going to be better soon.
ReplyDeleteWith the penny found earlier in the day, I carved a note in the empty seat next to mine. It says "make them yours forever" Maybe someone will lean from my mistake. Even if it's only one.
ReplyDeleteEverything is blur today. I can not see. I never know I'm this vulnerable without you beside me. Don't go anyway further. Please, come back.
ReplyDeleteThis could well be the train home.
ReplyDeleteJust depends which way you're facing, I guess.
The memory of who I was
ReplyDeleteStill loves the memory of who you were
As much as it, as I, ever did. (you know that's more than anything right?)
But that's all I can say.
I always wondered how it would feel to live in a world where you didn't love me.
ReplyDeleteNow I know.
I wish I didn't.
I got on the subway, but I didn't really see anyone. All I wanted to see was you, getting on the subway, sitting next to me again, giving me another chance. People in New York don't really notice when someone cries on the subway. Good thing.
ReplyDelete